Pardon my hesitation. I am generally not used to speaking up for myself as there are way too many people to speak against. Those daily bouts of “Yo fat ass!”, “Ae jaadi”, “Oye moti”, etc. have kind of taken a toll on me… to that extent that I think being fat might as well be taken to be a socially unacceptable condition. Isn’t it too gloomy that fat girls are considered deviant for being fat? This open letter is not just an open from me, this isn’t just my story; today I speak up for all those fat girls out there. It’s time. Someone has to.
You know, every time you mock me about my “size” in the canteen and I smile back – I am actually not smiling, I am breaking into little pieces inside. Every time that happens, I start to question myself. I ask myself, am I really that weird? That unappealing? That detestable? Every time… each and every time, you win. You make me like myself a little lesser after every such “event”.
Fat girls all over the world are put under scrutiny till the point where they themselves start abhorring themselves. How can I see someone’s love for me, if I am unable to love myself? Let me tell you, it’s not like I don’t care about my “fatness”. Obviously I do. Who doesn’t want to look like that perfect girl in middle school or that hot chick in high school or the college eye candy? But, just because I am not one of them or nothing like those girls, doesn’t mean I am any less. Does it? Since when did physical appearance become the definition of a person’s ability in any field or since when physical appearance start defining a person at all?
People, you say that girls like me are downright lazy; no wonder we hit the gym, sweat our asses on the jogging track and take up all sorts of dieting plans. Our want to be accepted in this size-zero-loving society, and to fit in this world makes us lose who we really are. Honestly, I don’t want to look in the mirror to face a stranger. Why should I? Will you want to face a stranger when you stand in front of a mirror?
Most girls who are fat face the problem of living up to the increased expectations of the people, and to “conform to the set standards”. May I ask, WHO SETS THESE STANDARDS? Who decides that size 8 girls can dance, date and demand, while sizes 12-14 are supposed to accept their “fate” and live in the “reality”? The internet is filled with trolls, memes and jokes about fat girls, and they are heart breaking to say the least; but I face them with a smile or just laugh them off. If I can laugh off an insult pointed at me, why don’t you have the humanity to stop firing in insults?! How long are you going to shun and mock me because I am not pleasing to your eyes? How can you possibly sympathise, when your sympathies are making me claustrophobic?
Accept me for who I am. Don’t be friends with me because I make you look prettier. No no, don’t you look away, you know that happens.
To quote JK Rowling, “Is fat really the worst thing a human being can be? Is fat worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me.”
We want that perfect life too. We have aspirations as well. Ask me, at times, what my dreams are, because I have dreams too. And no, that doesn’t include having a slim body at the top of my to-do-list. I too, wish to go to dance with the guy I like, hang out with friends who are not embarrassed of my appearance, and have an insightful chat with someone who sees the brilliance in me.
It’s time this nonsense stopped. Do not mistake my silence as my weakness. The day I come out, will be a day you’d be ashamed of yourselves as fat is not as bad as stooping to the low of feeling superior.
I just can’t understand how and why did “humans” become so superficial? How did we come to a point where things like friendship, love and mere humanity is only shown to people who are tall, slender and fair. I do not say that they have it easy. They have their share of problems too, and people like me have ours, but the society needs to cut us some slack. I am not ranting, I am suffering and this time I am showing it loud and clear.
Think, because if you don’t, you might just devastate another fat girl.
– Columnist, University Times