How to have great conversations?

great conversations

Are you that guy or girl who is being constantly ignored in your immediate friend circle for not communicating well or are you afraid of starting a conversation per se? There is no hard and fast rule for conversations to become really effective and efficient. Much contrary to the prevalent idea, one need not have a magnetic personality but one’s way of speaking and understanding during the conversation should be attractive enough.

Your survival in this world will be really difficult otherwise, this write-up will help not only those who can’t communicate well but also those who don’t want to converse at all. One can’t be a lonely island and stay aloof… we know it all, don’t we? There can be different types of conversations based on whom you’re speaking to, the number of persons involved, the information you’re seeking, and whether it’s inquisitorial or revolves around a debate.

Read: How to have great conversations?

It can be an adversarial or friendly or diplomatic conversation. It is time we release ourselves from the illusionary social network setup and do something for a “real” social life. For a healthy conversation, we need to take care of certain things.

• A conversation should always be a dialogue and should never be reduced to a monologue. Speaking and listening should go hand in hand. Be an active listener than being an active speaker. Do not interrupt. Do not lose your track ever.

• Do not declaim, preach, rant or order. Try setting up a comfort level. But don’t try to be really submissive. That will backfire; the other person may empower you and assume a role of a dictator as it’s rightly said that you can’t really please everyone. So be it! Taking recourse to a middle path will help you greatly.

• Use apt correct words, neither beat around the bush nor use cryptic language. Come straight to the point. People don’t have too much time these days.

• A verbal communication is rarely verbal. Undesirable gestures, rolling eyes or any other unwelcome body language should be strictly avoided. Smile if the situation allows. A firm handshake and maintaining eye contact is what should be called good body language while meeting people.

• Self-disclosure is very important but you should know how to regulate it. Conflict of interests is bound to happen, there will be dissent of opinions. You never know what kind of person is at the receiving end. He might be aggressive or a reserved person.

• While talking over the phone, be clear and avoid mumbling.

• There might circumstances arise when you need to establish your credibility for keeping the information safe and confidential. In such a situation, try creating that sort of environment.

• Moderate your voice accordingly. Needless to say, if you are being interviewed speaking at the pitch of your voice will be more than detrimental. You should remain energised throughout the conversation, don’t be too lazy to speak types.

• Overall, don’t be a conversation narcissist. Blabbering about oneself is surely not appreciated.

By the way, stop contemplating over and deliberating upon the aptness of the title. “Never expect the expected”: This is the rule of reading as well as writing. This was no review of the book by the same title by David Sedaris but of course, that’s an awesome read.


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